Tapping into razzle-dazzle
THE AGE - November 29 2002 By Lily Bragge

When students enrol at Miss Calamity Jane's Glamour Puss Studios Tap Dancing Academy, not only do they learn to tap in a particular style - a kind of hybrid Partridge Family meets the Tap Dogs, but they are also encouraged to embrace their leader's glitzy lifestyle. Miss Jane says her hot-pink studio is an oasis of glamour, a little piece of Las Vegas in St Kilda. The academy is strictly a leotard-free zone.

Like most schools, all students are required to adopt certain etiquette. They are to address one another in a particular manner. David Helms, a town planner by day, is Mr David, the Tapping Cowpoke and choreographer by night. Sergeant Helen Murray casts off her role as an instructor at the Melbourne Police Academy and becomes Miss Helen of the Swinging Chandeliers.

From the tips of her faux-fur-covered tap shoes to the top of her tiara, Miss Jane insists that her proteges be as glamorous as often as possible. She happily provides extra tuition in the art of false-eyelash application as well as clever cocktail making - mostly very dry martinis.

Open since 1997, Glamour Puss Studios is one of only two places in Melbourne that teaches tap dancing to adult beginners. Miss Jane welcomes all those with two left feet.

With more than 100 students aged from seven to 70, there are only a few men. The school attracts a diverse demographic that includes nurses, lawyers, public servants, TV producers, doctors and retirees. Last year's end-of-year show had one of the older dancers performing with the help of a walking stick after she had fallen out of a helicopter the week before.

There is one children's class.
Miss Jane firmly believes in never revealing one's age. She says, "If you're fabulous like me and look a thousand years younger than you really are, then just don't tell. Students always ask me how old I am and I reply, how old do you think I am? They always say something much younger than the real thing, and that's the way I like it."

She encourages the most unlikely people to bring out their hidden razzle-dazzle, convinced that everyone has got an 'It' factor. "No matter who you are, or how old you are, regardless of whomever has told you, you can't or shouldn't do it - you can," she says.

A Melbourne girl, Miss Jane began her love affair with tap dancing as a four-year-old at the Mitcham Baptist Church Hall. She says, "When I was five, I played a milking maid. My mother made a stripy costume for me, but unlike all the other girls' stripy costumes, my stripes went the wrong way. They were horizontal and I was vertical. It definitely gave me a taste for standing out."

The school continues to swell in numbers (it began with fewer than 20 students). Never having advertised, its success is based on loyalty and word of mouth. Miss Jane says she will continue to teach forever. She envisages herself becoming a bit like Ginger Rogers in her dotage. "There I'll be, with far too much make-up, covered in baubles. My knees will have given out, I'll be in my wheelchair in a pair of high heels, even though I won't be able to feel my feet. I'll be in my own Malibu heaven on the Gold Coast."

During rehearsals for the school's Christmas show, Miss Jane shouts her commands over the loud music. It's organised chaos. The Sweet Sherries shriek and giggle as they go through their paces to the tune of Louis Prima's Three Handed Woman. 

Miss Jane's students adore her. Miss Annabel, 28, studied tap as a child. After a 15-year break she enrolled at the academy three years ago. Her class is the Almost Advanced, Shagadelic Swingers. Aside from the benefits of cardio-vascular fitness, Miss Annabel says the reason she stays is that Miss Jane makes it so much fun. "There's no exams and she (Miss Jane) is not focused on precision. She is just focused on people having a good time. The whole thing is a total escape from reality."

Miss Jane hopes Miss Annabel will become a glamour mistress of her own class in the future.

Policewoman, Miss Helen, is part of an intermediate group, The Swinging Chandeliers. She has been with Miss Jane for two-and-a-half years. She says learning to tap is something she always wanted to do. Initially she chose Glamour Puss Studios from the Yellow Pages because of its proximity to where she lived. Having recently moved to Rowville, it's now a 45-minute drive away. Hating the travel, she says it's worth it because Miss Jane is such a scream. "She's one of the most incredible women I've ever met in my life. She is always encouraging and positive."

Miss Helen likes the way the school is not strict or based on technicality.
"My job can be very stressful and Miss Jane's provides a total fantasy and escapism," she says. "The people are lovely and it's always so much fun."
On December 1, the academy will take to the stage at The National Theatre for their end-of-year Christmas extravaganza, 5-4-3-2-1 Glamour Kittens Are Go!

It's been six months of rehearsal and frenzied, martini-soaked costume-making workshops. Miss Jane says the show is huge. "It will be like Ben-Hur in sequins and character shoes."